Most of us have some form of fear of failure, which is stifling our success in life. Instead of thriving, we are just barely surviving. And some of us have the core knowing that we are a failure, and for those of us, this belief was injected into our cellular memory at the point of conception, if not before that.
Dear, Precious INFx,
If you are like me, you have struggled with your identity for most of your life. One of the biggest contributing factors is the internal voices of failure and shame. Be it a fear of failure or a knowing that you are one, surprisingly, you can harness this pain to serve you. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about.
As you probably already intuited, the latter person is me. I knew on a cellular level that I was a failure, even before I was born. I was conceived through rape. My father’s rageful act of self hatred and hatred of my mother all coming together to conceive me - a product of force and brutality. A byproduct of both of their feelings of failure in life.
I was never meant to be anything other than assertion of dominance and a relieving of emotional pain. And I paid for it throughout my whole childhood by being repeatedly abandoned and despised by my narcissistic father and by subconsciously being treated like a burden by my mother, who just couldn't cope with anything anymore.
As a result, I didn’t have a childhood. I never learnt to make mistakes and still be loved. What I did learn is that if I made a mistake, I would be loathed and resented.
And even though I have forgiven them and moved past the pain of these people causing me this pain, the cellular memory of the learning of that truth -” I will never amount to anything, because I am a failure” - continues to come up in different situations, especially when I am tired and run down.
How would it feel, if you too could harness and utilise the suffocating pain of the Failure Factor, and transform it into a strength that can quickly begin to pay you dividends in form of deeper relationships, vocation or even wealth? I did it, and so can you!
These are some of things I learnt about myself, the people's’ psyche and how to harness pain instead of having it trip you unexpectedly:
You are a real person, and you are in charge of your own life regardless of who your parents were. They were only the starting point, your continuing self actualisation is the end game. And when you realise and subsequently actualise this, you will become more authentic and on purpose. - The human body and psyche is always yearning for recovery, if it’s allowed to do so. This is one of the truths of life, which is reflected back to us by nature, seasons and cycles all the time. If you are not convinced about this, I suggest you do some further study on healing process of plants, animals and humans. As a result of accepting this as a starting point, your health will improve dramatically.
- What you have always believed about yourself is not necessarily true. What if your parents were actually wrong? Have you considered that? Look for evidence in the lives of other parents who see their kids as precious, and understand that your childhood experiences, especially to do with the Failure Factor, are not the only truth that is out there. By accepting this new truth you will become free from emotional pain that has been holding you back.
- You can choose to have new beliefs about yourself according to how you wish your parents had brought you up. Continue observing the parenting styles of other families, and pick the ones that you like or the ones you feel envious of, and then, with the help of these role models, begin to parent your inner child to heal the Failure Factor. When you adopt these new ways of treating yourself, you open up to giving and receiving very deep form of love.
- Every small failure is not actually a reflection of YOU as a person, but a reflection of your past beliefs. Learn to take on small failures as constructive criticism about what could be improved on, if you choose to improve the results you currently have. You may choose not to, and when it’s a conscious choice, rather than a reaction from your inner child, then you have a more stable foundation to build your direction from. Be you and own it. When you see failures as messages about how you have done something, instead of who you are, you begin to thrive in your life. These messages are simply an indicator of areas of your life that you have not fully harnessed to your advantage.
- You need to be open to noticing new evidence of your worthiness when it is presented to you. Inevitably, life will show you evidence of your new beliefs, as well as sudden flashes of worthiness. You need to decide to be open to seeing these. And when they come, let your inner child bask in the brilliance that s/he knows is them. When you learn to allow yourself to see this evidence, you expose yourself to new opportunities you will have missed in the past.
- Regular, continuing adjustment of attitude in regards to setbacks will continue to change your life on a cellular level. And every time you have a setback, you have an opportunity to prove your own worthiness by not being hooked back into the old belief, but instead, re-enforcing points 5 and 6. This adjustment of attitude, while hard sometimes, will continue to propel you to higher level of success in whatever area of your life you apply it.
As you can see, this work is very powerful, and goes to depths that cannot be imagined. You only feel it when you get “there”. What I have learnt, having coached hundreds of this types, is that in order to ensure effective and fast tracked results, the INF people need to share their journey with others of the same type. This is based purely on the fact that we, as this special type, need to have people who “get” us to reflect back to us what we are experiencing.
I encourage you to have a support network of INF types, and if you already don’t have one, you are welcome to join ours.
For those of you who want to accelerate these learnings, I invite you to join us on our next INFx Unveiled online course. This course is guaranteed to give you insights and specific exercises that will open you up to your purpose, relationship happiness and good health.
We have a 30-day money back guarantee on all our products just to make sure that the course is right for you. For more information, go here: INFx Unveiled Course.
Mind yourself. Your gifts are needed!
Love,
Merja
Love,
Merja
Ps. You can complete the Myers Briggs indicator test here:
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